My Happy Ending

I am a bit busy this days, so here's a story for everyone to read for this week. Enjoy reading.

Today is my first day at school in Burbank, Illinois. I miss my friends back in Carolina, but the people at this school seem nice. Then again, a lot of people seem nice before you meet them. I met this boy today and his name is Jake. He’s really cute and kind. He walked me to all my classes, even the ones on the opposite end of the school from where he was supposed to be.

After that day, he missed a week of school.
When he got back, he walked me to my classes again. I told him how much I really appreciated it. He was the only one who even tried to befriend me. After a week of walking me to my classes, Jake finally asked me out. I am a Christian and only hang around fellow Christians who are people that will be saved by God. Hence, I asked him if he’s Christian and luckily, he said yes.
“How long have you been a Christian?”
“A few years…” He replied slowly.
That was when he changed the subject.
The date was amazing and everything went right.
He continued to walk me to my classes everyday for months. We went out together more than twice every week. We held hands but there was nothing more. He knew that, for me, even kissing a guy is a big step and I need to be really serious with a guy before we can take that step.
We were together for two years when he came up to me with his hands behind his back.

“Hey! Guess what I made it to the tennis team.” I told him.
“That’s great!” He gave me a huge hug.
“Let’s go celebrate!” He pulled out two tickets from behind him.
“For real? Oh my goodness! The basement! Are you serious?!”
The basement was a big Christian group that tours and performs at different places. They preach, dance and do all kind of cool stuff. Jake knew how much I love them and how much I had wanted to go to their concert together ever since we first met.
After the concert, Jake grabbed my hand and led me somewhere I’d never been before.
“What are we doing here?” I asked.
He had a weird look on his face and I got worried.
“I love you, Grace.”
“I-I… love you too, but why…”
“You mean it?”
There was a long pause while I tried to figure out what was he trying to ask. What was going on with him?
“Of course I mean it.” I replied.
“Then kiss me.”
I was hoping he would say that but I was still really confused. I kissed him anyway. It was my first kiss.
“I love you, Grace.” He said again
“You said that already.”
“I know, because I really… I love you, Grace.” He whispered slowly as if he didn’t know what else to say.
“Is there anything you want to tell me?”
I wanted to have some clue on what was happening. My head was still spinning from the kiss. He shook his head. I didn’t understand it at all. All I knew was that at that moment right there, I realized how much Jake truly loved me… Or so I thought.

Three weeks later, Jake and I were closer than ever and probably the most in love teenagers you would ever meet. I went to meet him during his last class. He was chatting with some friends so I decided to stand outside the door and wait for him.
“Tell us the truth dude.” I heard his friend say.
“Okay, I lied to Grace. Obviously, I’m not a Christian but…”
I couldn’t wait for him to finish his words when I heard what he said. I ran as hard as I could down the hallway and out the doors. I needed to get away. My heart cracked and I didn’t even remember where I left the pieces. How could he do this to me? He said he loves me and I believed him. He said he wanted to be with me forever and I believed that too.
I didn’t know where I was or how long I was there but I knew that I never want to go back to the classroom. I didn’t think I could stand it. How does someone deal with that? I began to question my faith. Why, God? Why? I knew God wasn’t to blame but that was the only way I could vent my frustrations. There was no one left anymore. I felt left alone out in the cold. Jake didn’t leave me here but he made it such a way that I could go anywhere but back home. It’s said that the will of God will never take you where the grace of God won’t protect you. Why would God bring him to me if he knew this would happen? I started to think about what I had heard again. I broke down into tears once more.

“Grace! What in the world are you doing? It’s freezing cold and…”
Jake paused when he saw that I was crying.
“What’s wrong?”
“You can cut the act, I know now.”
I could tell he was about to ask another question again but I interrupted.
“You didn’t have to lie to me Jake. If you didn't like me, all you had to do was say so, but no! You had to put on this big act!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I love you. I’ve told you that. You know that. You know I love you, Grace.”
How could he lie straight in my face!?
“Yeah you also mentioned something about being a Christian but I guess we can’t all tell the truth.”
“What do you mean by that?”
He knew exactly what I meant. I wasn’t the kind of person to be mean or rude about this even if he did lie to me. I just wanted him to leave.
“You know, you’re a good guy Jake, and I’m sure there is a pretty girl out there just waiting for you. Why don’t you go find her?”
That was the nicest way I could put it.
“I don’t have to because you’re right here.”
“Please go now.”
I was crying again.
“Don’t do this to me.” He begged.
He was crying too.
“I’m only doing this to protect what I believe in. Jake, I love you and I always will. Please don’t forget what we talked about, don’t lose what faith you gained while we were together. You betrayed me and I can’t deal with that. Please leave.”
I pleaded once again. I didn’t care what Jake did for the rest of his life. I just didn't want our breakup to affect the trust in God he had gained while we were together.

He was speechless and tears streamed down our faces. I had never seen him cry previously. He usually wasn’t an emotional guy. I stood up and walked away. I couldn’t stand to see him like that. He didn’t come after me. I guess it was a good thing but it hurt too much to look back so I stared straight ahead and walked into a whole new beginning; a world of loneliness.
- Two Years Later -
I saw him today, I didn't really know what to say but I knew the mature thing to do.
“Hey.” I said to him, smiling.
“Hi.” He replied blandly.
“How are you? It’s been so long.”
I realized how dumb that sounded after I said it. Of course it’s been so long. We wanted it to be this way.
“I’m uh…”
Someone called his name. I guess that was a relief for him.
“I got to go.”
“Okay, bye.”
That was it and then he was gone.
I couldn't believe this. I couldn't believe that we could just walk right past each other and not even acknowledge each other, or that we couldn't even look each other in the eye because we are scared that the memories of heartaches and lonesomeness will come flooding back. It’s unbelievable. I don’t know about him but for me, those memories never left. It has been two years and I’m still hurting. I’ve been on one date in the past two years and even then, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Sometimes I think it’s the stupidest thing I ever did; breaking up with him. Back then everything inside me was telling me he had to go but right now it’s as if I couldn’t tell how much longer I could go on without him. This went on for months.
“Excuse me Miss, I know that you don’t work here but do you happen to know where I can find some band-aids?” A man said with a smile.
I hardly knew where anything is in the grocery store but I knew where the band-aids are due to my clumsiness. The guy was extremely handsome and polite. He reminded me so much of him...
“Yeah, sure. Right down that aisle.” I said as I pointed out the band-aid aisle.
He gave me another one of those familiar smiles and went on his way. I smiled back. As soon as he grabbed the band-aids, he came back up to me.
“I just wanted to say thank you. So um… Would you like to go out sometime you know, like on a date? Dinner and a movie?”
“A date? I don’t know uh…”
“Alex.”

“Yeah, I don’t think a date is a good idea, Alex. Don’t get me wrong! You seem like a really nice guy but I just got out of a long relationship and I just don’t know.”
“Oh, when?”
“Oh, um… Around two years ago.”
He raised his eyebrow.
“I know that’s a long time but…”
“Don’t stress, I get it. He must have been pretty special. I know how that is but if you spend your life wallowing about the past, you’ll miss out on some great things in your future.
“Like Philippians 3:13 says ‘…forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.’”
He began to make his way to the cashier.
“Wait!” I yelled to him.
“That verse?”
“What about it?”
“It’s from the bible.”
“Nothing gets by you.”
Wow, so he’s a Christian. As soon as I heard that, I got a feeling inside me just like the feeling I got when I was on my first date with Jake, except this time it was stronger.
“That’s really cool. Now about that date…”
This could be good and the best part was, I wasn’t even thinking about the loser who broke my heart.

- Five Years Later -
“Please don’t do this to me, Alex. Please don’t go.”
The tears stung my eyes but I couldn’t even feel them. There was a darker, scarier feeling inside me that conquered every pain I had ever been through. As Alex was lying on the bed dying from the horrid disease, I couldn’t help thinking that God should take me too if he’s going to take Alex. I didn’t want to be in this world without him. We’ve been through so much together. We got married two years ago and we dated for three years before that. How could this happen? He is the greatest man I have ever met and he is so good to me and faithful to the Lord. The tears continued to roll down my eyes.
“I love you, Grace. You know how much I love you, right?”
I nodded my head. I moved my lips but the words just wouldn’t come out.
I never left that emergency room. The nurses brought my food with Alex’s even though he was unconscious most the time. I never took my eyes off him except when I slept. People came and went. They include family members, friends, friends of friends and friends of family. It seemed to hit them all pretty hard as they didn’t usually deal with this kind of pain. However, it’s different for me as I had lost many loved ones in my lifetime though it was not all necessarily to death. Sometimes I don’t understand why it happens but I know God has a purpose. He always has and he always will. Nevertheless, this is something you can never get used to and the pain never lessens. It’s always hard to let go especially when you don’t expect it. It’s been three months since we got the news about Alex. He will go anytime soon to a better place but I can’t bear to watch him go. I cried more than I have ever cried in my life. I knew it is all going to end in a matter of days, hours or maybe seconds. I held on to Alex with all I had left, refusing to let him go. I couldn’t let go even if he did. I planned on staying that way for as long as I could. I would have held on to him forever if I could.
Alex died the next day. There were more tears, more pain and more sleepless nights. I tried to tell myself not to worry and to be happy for him but it was never convincing. I used to think it was only hard when I was young and it would be easier when I grew older but here I am still stuck in the same painful endless cycle at aged twenty-five. I grieved for months and people thought I was in such a deep depression that I would never be the old me again. They were right. I was never the same after that but the weird thing was instead of losing hope like most people do, I gained more faith than ever before. I don’t know why but I realized that God is the only way out of this suffering. I thought about the verse Alex had said when we first met five years ago in the grocery store. I looked it up and read the whole thing.

“Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.”
That verse was very special to me and it was actually the main reason why Alex and I started dating. I missed him so much. Tears streamed down my face. I didn't think I would have any left but I did. I was running out of food even though I barely ate anymore so I went to the grocery store. I decided I would go to a different grocery store from the one where it all began. I would go to the one close to home, the one where it all ended.