A long story but I think it's worth of my time....maybe yours too...
"I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! "
Jeanne's eyes were wide and filled with tears. She was afraid of what he would say to her.
Jeanne was a nerdy girl with thick glasses. She was a junior in her middle school. She was in love with the hottest guy in the entire school.
And now, she told him that she loved him.
"Haha! Shut up. Nobody would like you! Who do you think I am?"
Jeanne had feared he would say something like that. She was devastated. She started running. She didn't want to face him ever again. All these thoughts and feelings ran through her head. She continued running until she bumped into something.
"Hey, whats up?"
She had bumped into James.
"What?! I'll Go Tell Him! Where Does He Get That Nerve! Sometimes, I Don't Know Why I'm His Best Friend! That's It! I'm Going To Go Beat Him Up!"
"NO! James! Don't do it! It's not his fault. I was the foolish one to think we can ever date."
"But Jeanne!"
"No, it's OK! I should go."
"JEANNE... James grabbed her by the wrist as she was getting up. Don't go..."
Jeanne stared into his eyes and felt so warm and fuzzy; a feeling she didn't feel for a long time. She looked away awkwardly. She was staring into his eyes for such a long time that there was a awkward moment of silence between them. Then, she gently took her wrist out of James grasp and slowly walked away from him with tears in her eyes.
"Dammit, James! You really did it this time! Jeanne just left you! And why are you trying to hit on her?"
James walked back home with his hands stuffed in his pocket. Thoughts of Jeanne ran through his head. He didn't want Jeanne to be hurt by a jackass. He wanted to show her that he loved her. He wanted to show her he cared. But Jeanne seemed to just ignore him. Just as he was deep in thoughts, someone appeared in front of him. James stopped in his tracks to find himself starring at Jeanne again.
"Oh, I'm so sorry... I'm very, very sorry about knocking into you and leaving without saying a word. I'm sorry. Can I repay you somehow?"
"Jeanne", James said, lifting her chin. Jeanne looked through his soft eyes and almost melted.
"James..." said Jeanne. Suddenly, she started crying. James was shocked.
"J-Jeanne? What's wrong?"
"I' m s-s-such a f-fool! H-How c-c-can I e-ever th-think t-that E-Eric loves me?"
"Jeanne... I would not call that foolish... I actually admire you for having the guts to confess your love. However, crying about him is indeed foolish. Jeanne, don't cry about that jerk. Here, let's go to my house. We're right in front of it!" Jeanne nodded.
After a few tries, she gave up.James led her to the bathroom.
"Take off your glasses. We need to wipe those tears off." He said with a smile. Jeanne took them off without a word. James turned on the water and wetted a washcloth. Then, he gently wiped her tears off her face.
"James.. Do you love me?" James was startled by this omment.
"Why do you ask me that?"
"Because... it seems like it. Do you?"
"Haha! Jeanne, you are my friend."
"Oh... OK. I think I'm not so teary now. Thanks, James."
"No problem. Do you want something to drink?"
"Um... OK." She followed James out the door. He handed her a glass of orange juice and they sat down outside on a bench.
"Are you going to be all right?"
"Yeah... Thanks. But I don't think I'll be able to face him again."
"When he calls you something bad, just yell my name OK?"
"OK." she said with a small laugh.
"But what are you going to do when I call you?"
"I'm going to beat him up!"
"What if everyone starts hating you?"
"It doesn't matter. As long as the one girl I love is happy."
"Ooh, James! You like someone?"
"Yeah... Guess? I'll never tell you until you get the right answer."
"Hmm... is it Amy? She's pretty! What about Lauren? She's nice and quiet. Or is it Becca? She's generous. Or maybe it's Courtney! She's not all that nice though..."
"Who is it? I'm dying of curiosity!"
"Let's see... She has glasses... She's in love with Eric and she's sitting right next to me!" Jeanne let out a small gasp.
"M-Me?" James nodded. Jeanne almost passed out.
"James! I have declared you crazy." James started laughing.
"Why won't you believe me? I like you... I want you to be my girlfriend."
"But you're the second hottest guy in school! What if everyone criticizes you for your bad taste in girls?"
"I don't care. I told you. As long as the one girl I love is happy." he said, smiling.
"No, really, James. No games this time. All serious... All right?"
"Yeah... I know."
"Oh my god..." Jeanne said, covering her mouth with her hand.
"Jeanne, I just want to be the right guy for you." he said while putting his arm around her shoulder. She leaned against him and for the first time, she felt accepted by someone special.
"But, James! Why did you say I was just a friend before?"
"Umm! I didn't feel like it was time yet." Jeanne nodded.
She knew how hard it was to say, "I love you."
She knew how nervous one would feel. And she knew how hard it was to feel rejected.
"I understand, James. I'm just glad you told me. I'll think about it."
"Jeanne, do you still like Eric?"
"Yes!"
"What has he got that I don't?"
"I just don't know! I mean you two look the same! You guys wear similar clothes! But I like Eric better."
"All right! I'll make him like you. He knows he's not going to win in a fight." Jeanne wrapped him in her arms.
"James! I'm all right. You don't have to do all that." And then he wrapped her in his arms.
"Eric, can I see you for a moment?"
"What's up, dude?"
"It's about Jeanne!"
"Oh no! don't tell me about that ugly girl! I might barf when I hear her name!"
"Shut Up! Dude, You Just Have To Give Her A Chance! What The Hell Is Wrong With You?"
"Hey! I have other girls who want me. The least thing I need now is another ugly girl liking me."
"She's not ugly! She's kind and beautiful in the inside when you get to know her!"
"Wait! do you!?"
"Yes! I do!"
"Haha! Then why don't you date her?"
"Because! she's in love with a jackass!"
"Still? Haha! Man, she's hilarious! After I rejected her like that?"
"Hey! Please! It would mean a lot to me if you can just say that you like her as a friend and apologize for what happened last time. Man, she came running all the way to my house and started crying! She was just out of control! Just please tell her that?"
"All right!"
"You're the best!"
"Hey, Jeanne! I'm sorry for what happened last time. I was sort of tired and grouchy. I wasn't in a good mood. I never wanted to say it that way. I like you as a friend. And I want to keep that relationship. All right?" Eric let out his hand for a shake. Jeanne nodded. She let out her hand and they had a friendly handshake, which made James smile.
"See? Eric likes you! He just wants to keep the relationship as friends! All cool with you?"
"Yes..." she said softly. James took her hand and walked away with her.
"You all right, now?"
"Yeah!" she nodded.
"But he only wants to be friends! Because I'm a nerd!"
"Jeanne! Why don't you ever think about me? You know he's a jerk! Why do you mope around for that! So what if he doesn't like you! Everyone is different, Jeanne. In my eyes, you are a beauty. You can't always think about him! There are other guys out there for you! Not just Eric and me! I really don't want to see you like this."
"James! Do you really love me?"
"I don't think I need to answer that!" They stared at each other for a long time.
"James!" She tried to push him away and he staggered a little.
"Jeanne! Answer this for me! Do you love me?"
"James, I never intended to be your girlfriend. I just want to be your friend."
"Oh, I see! You're treating me like how Eric treated you. You don't want to be my girlfriend because I'm way different from you. You don't want to be my girlfriend because I'm better looking than you and you're afraid that people will jeer you because of that. Well, you know what? I don't care about any of that!" And with that, he grabbed her and locked their lips together.
After a while, he moved away.
"Oh, you really do love me!" She hugged him.
"But, Jeanne! do you still have feelings for him?"
"Yes! I always have and always will."
"Do you want to be pretty? Like those girls over there?" James pointed to a group of girls. They all had big hoop earrings and Jeanne noticed that they did not have any thick glasses like her. Jeanne nodded. She was pretty ashamed about it.
"It's all right, Jeanne. All girls want to be good looking. Even if they were once ugly."
"Really?"
"Sure! I used to act like a girl. I always worry about my appearance, my clothes and my hair; just like a girl."
"Haha! That's funny!"
"It's good to see you laugh. Now Jeanne, I'll help you become pretty. Will you be happy then?"
"I don't know. I've never been attractive in my life..." she said innocently.
"Well, it's time you are!"
"Now, we need to focus on your clothes. You can't always wear a blouse with a tight sweater squeezed over it. You dressed as if our school has a dress code. You should wear a tight shirt with a miniskirt. That would look good on you."
"OK! Now that we have all the clothes and jewelry, all we need to do now is to get rid of your glasses. We need contact lenses for your eyes.""How are we going to do that?"
"I know someone who can get us contact lenses. I knew my eye doctor for a long time. He can help us with it."
"So you want to give her contact lenses for these glasses?""Yeah. Can you help us?""Well! the lens are really thick! You must be a really hardworking student," the eye doctor looked at Jeanne. She smiled and nodded."So! Will you take them?""Yeah, I guess. I really like the design. It can be a display set. And whoever wants it can get it. All right, let's get you some contact lenses." "That was pretty easy, right Jeanne?""But it's pretty weird not pushing up my glasses every 10 seconds.""Haha. But your new blue eyes look marvelous.""Wait a minuet! You got me blue contact lenses? Blue?!""Yeah. And the extra pair is regular hazel... The same color as your eyes.""I want the hazel ones. I don't want to be a poser.""No. Don't you want to have matching contact lenses with Eric? Eric has blue contacts too you know!"
"Fine!" Jeanne pouted. But James knew she was happy deep inside. He knew he was going to have to let go of her soon.
On Monday, James brought Jeanne to school. Everyone gathered around them and agreed that James and the new beautiful girl was a good couple. James put his arm around Jeanne and took her to Eric.
"What's up man? Who's the chick?" Eric asked."You'll never know.""So tell me!""You want to tell him girl?" James asked Jeanne."Hi! I'm Jeanne." James and Jeanne smiled when they heard him gasp."The! T-The N-Nerdy! Nerdy girl?""The same, Eric! The same!""Can I talk to you, James?" Eric took James away from Jeanne. "Dude, what the hell is happening here? That's not Jeanne right?""It is Jeanne! How can you live like that? How can you live with one spontaneous idea stuck in your head? Haven't you thought about Jeanne being beautiful and attractive?""Well No!""See? I knew this was a bad idea. But she loves you! Can you believe that? And I love her! So I'm letting her go to the one jerk she loves. Peace, man." and with that, James walked away.
"Good luck, Jeanne." He stuffed his hands into his pockets. He tried to stop the tears from streaming down his face. Jeanne! if you love him that much, I'll let you go. I hope that jackass won't hurt you.
"So! You're Jeanne! The one I rejected?""Umm! Yeah.""Well! I've thought about it, but I think I want you to be my girlfriend.""Your girlfriend?""Yeah." Jeanne couldn't believe her ears. Thank you James, she whispered happily. "So do you accept?""Of course I do! It's always been my dream!"
"Gosh! you have pretty weird dreams! Hey, you look cold. Here." Eric took off his sweater and wrapped it over Jeanne. Jeanne was so happy she started crying. Eric wiped her tears and comforted her.
After school, Jeanne called James to thank him.
"Hello?""James! Thank you so much! It went so well between Eric and me!""That's... That's great Jeanne...""I owe it all to you. Let's go out for lunch or something sometime. I'll pay." Jeanne sounded so happy."Jeanne, I don't think that'll be possible.""Why not?""I'm leaving for U.K.""What about your parents? Why are you going? How are you going? I just don't believe this!""My parents passed away a long time ago. I have enough money to get on a plane to U.K.""But what about me? I thought you loved me!"
"Yes, I do. But you're in love with someone else and I don't want to be a burden to you. I want you to be happy with the one you love and not be pressured by me. Tell Eric that I congratulate him and please help me bade him goodbye. Bye, Jeanne."
Click!
Jeanne couldn't believe it. She was able to date Eric because of James. She was able to get attractive because of James. She was always comforted because of James! And he was leaving her out by herself in the big, hateful, hideous world. She suddenly felt so scared. She dialed James's number again but he had disconnected the phone. She finally knew who is important to her right now.
She quickly got dressed into the clothes James bought for her and ran outside. She was running for her dear life to James's house. When she got there, he was right there in front of her.
"I'm sorry, Jeanne. I have to leave. My cab's here. Bye, Jeanne." James gave her a peck on the cheek and disappeared into the taxi. She watched the taxi disappear around the bend and watched her James leave her forever! She started crying and continued crying as if her life was over. To her, her life is officially over as she is now alone in the world with nobody to support her.
-15 years later-
James came back to America as a successful lawyer. He came back to America in search for the girl he had loved 15 years ago. Everyone in U.K. asked him about her often. Now that he is back, he would be find her and get back together with her. But little did he know there was a problem with that.
"Eric?" James had called Eric. They were in touch the whole time James was in U.K."Hey! What's up?""I came back to America dude!""Oh! Umm! OK!""I want to ask about Jeanne. Is she all right?""James, there is something that I should let you know.""I'm getting a bad feeling about this!""Well, I guess you can say she's happy and well.""What do you mean?""She's with God, man. She's gone.""Haha. Nice joke. I'm not kidding. Tell me where she is."
"Dude! I'm Telling You! After You Told Her You Were Leaving Her, She Started Getting Depressed And Became Extremely Stressed! It Was Horrible! Why The Hell Did You Leave? She Would Still Be Alive! She Committed Suicide Because Of You! What The Hell Is Wrong With You, You Dumb-Ass Jerk! I Thought You Loved Her! I Don't Think That's What Guys Who Fall In Love Do To Their Crush! Just Leave Me Alone! Remember When You Called Me A Jackass? You'd Better Think Again."
Click!
The phone fell from James's hand. He dropped to his knees in disbelief. He couldn't believe it. He felt like everything is against him. He felt so angry with himself. He felt like ripping himself up. He wanted to follow Jeanne up to heaven.
For days and days, James didn't eat anything. He was too depressed to carry on with his life.
James was buried right next to Jeanne's grave. His tombstone read:
R.I.P. James Brandon
1980-2005
The One Man Who Let Go Of A Woman And Lost Her
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